頭腦一刻不停地以思考來餵養自己，不僅如此，它還在不斷地尋求身份的認同，尋求“我”的感覺。於是，自我就誕生了，並且它還不停地重新創造著它自己。
***
當你想到或談到你自己時，當你說“我”時，通常你指的是“我和我的故事”。這個“我”是關於你喜歡什麼、不喜歡什麼、你害怕什麼、渴望什麼，這個“我”從來不會長時間感到滿足。這是一種頭腦製造出來的關於你是誰的感覺，它被過去所限制，同時它不斷在未來尋求滿足。
你是否看見這個“我”是轉瞬即逝的，它只是一種臨時存在的形式，就像水面的波紋一樣？
是誰看著這一切？是誰覺知到你身體與心理的不斷變化的特質？是我。是那個更深的“我”，這個“我”與過去和未來無關。
***
每天，你那充滿問題的生活情境佔用了你絕大多數的注意力，它帶給你無盡的恐懼和慾望，除了這些之外，還剩下什麼呢？一條短劃線而已，也就一兩英寸長，刻在你的墓碑上，在你的出生日期和死亡日期之間。
對於自我的我來說，這真是一個令人沮喪的念頭。但是對於真正的你(祢)，這是解脫。
***
當你的注意力完全被念頭吸引，這意味著你認同了頭腦裡的聲音。然後念頭加強了“我”的感覺。這就是自我，頭腦製造的“我”。這個由思想創建出來的我總是感到缺失和不安全。所以恐懼和匱乏是這個“我”的主要情緒和驅動力。
一旦你意識到在你的腦袋裡有一個聲音，它總是假裝是你，從來都不停止說話，那你就從對思考的續流的無意識認同中甦醒過來。當你留意那個聲音，你就發現你並不是那個聲音– 那個思考者– 而是意識到它的那個。
發現你自己是那聲音背後的意識，就是自由。
***
自我的我總是在搜尋。它不斷地搜尋著這個或那個來填充自己，來令它感到更完整。這解釋了為什麼自我總是不由自主地關注未來。
無論何時當你留意到自己“活在下一刻”時，你已經走出了自我的思維模式，同時一個選擇將全部的注意力放在此時此刻的可能性升起了。
藉著將全部注意力放在當下，一個遠比自我的頭腦更偉大的智性進入了你的生命。
***
當你以自我來生活時，你總是將當下時刻貶低為一個達到目的的手段。你總是活在未來，當你達到你的目標時，它們卻不能讓你感到滿足，至少這滿足無法持久。
當你將更多的注意力放在你的行動上，而不是你渴望通過這些行動而達到的未來的結果時，你打破了舊有的自我模式。然後你的行動不但變得有效率得多，而且充滿無限的滿足與快樂。
***
幾乎每一個自我都至少包含一個我們稱之為“受害者身份”的元素。有的人有一個很強大的受害者的自我形象，以至於這成為了他們的自我的核心。怨恨和不滿組成了他們自我感覺的主要部分。
即使你的不滿是完全“正當”的，你也給自己創造了一個身份，它就像是一個監獄，一個由你的思維模式的鋼筋水泥建造的監獄。看看你在對你自己做什麼，或者更確切地說，看看你的頭腦在對你做什麼。去感受那個附著在你的受害者故事上的情緒，對那個總是想要思考或談論這個故事的衝動保持覺知。成為對你內在狀態的目睹的臨在。你不需要做任何事情。伴隨著覺知，轉變和自由就會發生。
***
抱怨和反應是自我最愛的心理模式，通過它們，自我強化了它自己。對很多人來說，它們心理-情緒活動的一大部分是由抱怨和對這個或者那個的反應所組成。通過這樣做，你使其他人或一個情境成為“錯的”而你自己成為“對的”。藉著成為“對的”，你感到高人一等，藉著感到高人一等，你強化了自我的感覺。當然，真實情況是，你只是強化了自我的幻象。
你是否能夠觀察到你內在的那些模式，是否能夠意識到你的頭腦中那個對當下所是不斷抱怨的聲音？
***
自我的感覺總是需要衝突，因為它的分離感在對抗這個或者那個時會得到加強，在顯示這個是“我”，那個不是“我”時也會得到強化。
部族、國家和宗教教派往往通過擁有敵人來獲取一種集體身份的強化。如果沒有“無信仰者”，又哪兒來的“信仰者”呢？
***
當你與人相處時，你是否能夠覺察到一絲微妙的優越感或是自卑感？你正在看著自我，它經由比較而活。
妒忌是自我的一個副產品，如果有什麼好事發生在別人身上，或是某人擁有更多、懂得更多、或者能夠比你做得更多，自我就感到被縮減了。自我的身份依賴於比較，以“更多”為食。它會試圖抓住一切東西。
如果其他一切都失敗了，你甚至可以通過將你自己看作是一個被生命虧待的人，或比其他人都病得更厲害的人，來強化你的虛假的自我感。你編造了什麼故事、什麼小說來令自己從中獲取自我感？
***
要打造這個自我的結構，需要反對、抵抗和排除，這樣才能保持一種分離感，自我的生存正是建立在這分離感之上。所以就有一個“我”對應“其他人”，有一個“我們”對應“他們”。
自我需要與某事或某人對立。這就是為什麼你雖然在尋求祥和、愉悅和愛，但卻不能長時間與它們共處。你說你想要幸福但卻對痛苦上癮。
從根本上說，你的痛苦並不是來自於你的生活境況，而是來自於你頭腦的限制。
***
你有沒有對過去所做的事– 或者未做的事– 抱有罪惡感？有一點是肯定的：你是根據你當時的意識水平，或者更確切地說，你的無意識水平，來行動的。如果你更加覺知，更有意識，那麼你本可以採取不同的行動。
罪惡感是自我試圖創造一種身份、一種我的感覺的另一個方式。對自我來說，它並不在意這個我是正面的或是負面的。你所做的或未做的是無意識的表現– 人類集體的無意識。然而自我卻貼上個人的標籤，說：“我做了這個”，然後你就在腦海中攜帶了一個你自己的“壞”的形象。
縱觀整個歷史，人類互相施以無數的暴力、殘忍和傷害的行為，而且還在繼續這樣做。他們是否都該被譴責？他們是否都有罪？還是這些行為不過是無意識的表達，是一個人類進化的階段，我們大家都正在這階段中不斷成長？
耶穌說過：“原諒他們吧，他們不知道自己在做什麼。”這也適用於你自己。
***
如果你設定了自我的目標，比如解放自己、加強自己，使自己感到重要，即使你達成了這些目標，你也不會感到滿足。要設定目標，但是要了解重要的並不僅僅是達成目標。無論臨在之中升起什麼，它代表這一刻不是達到目的的手段：那個行動本身已經在每一刻實現了它自己。你不再將當下貶低為到達目標的一個手段，這種想法是自我的意識。
***
“沒有自我，就沒有問題，”當人們請佛教高僧解釋佛的深層含義時，大師如此回答。
翻譯：遊由
~~~原文如下~~~
Chapter 3
The Egoic Self
The mind is incessantly looking not only for food for thought; it is looking for food
for its identity, its sense of self. This is how the ego comes into existence and
continuously re-creates itself.
***
When you think or speak about yourself, when you say, “I,” what you usually refer
to is “me and my story.” This is the “I” of your likes and dislikes, fears and desires,
the “I” that is never satisfied for long. It is a mind-made sense of who you are,
conditioned by the past and seeking to find its fulfillment in the future.
Can you see that this “I” is fleeting, a temporary formation, like a wave pattern on
the surface of the water?
Who is it that sees this? Who is it that is aware of the fleetingness of your physical
and psychological form? I am. This is the deeper “I” that has nothing to do with
past and future.
***
What will be left of all the fearing and wanting associated with your problematic
life situation that every day takes up most of your attention? A dash–one or two
inches long, between the date of birth and date of death on your gravestone .
To the egoic self, this is a depressing thought. To you, it is liberating.
***
When each thought absorbs your attention completely, it means you identify with
the voice in your head. Thought then becomes invested with a sense of self . This is
the ego, the mind-made “me.” That mentally constructed self feels incomplete and
precarious. That's why fearing and wanting are its predominant emotions and
motivating forces.
When you recognize that there is a voice in your head that pretends to be you and
never stops speaking, you are awakening out of your unconscious identification
with the stream of thinking. When you notice that voice, you realize that who you
are is not the voice–the thinker–but the one who is aware of it.
Knowing yourself as the awareness behind the voice is freedom.
***
The egoic self is always engaged in seeking. It is seeking more of this or that to add
to itself, to make itself feel more complete. This explains the ego's compulsive
preoccupation with future.
Whenever you become aware of yourself “living for the next moment,” you have
already stepped out of that egoic mind pattern, and the possibility of choosing to
give your full attention to this moment arises simultaneously.
By giving your full attention to this moment, an intelligence far greater than the
egoic mind enters your life.
***
When you live through the ego, you always reduce the present moment to a means
to an end. You live for the future, and when you achieve your goals, they don't
satisfy you, at least not for long.
When you give more attention to the doing than to the future result that you want to
achieve through it, you break the old egoic conditioning. Your doing then becomes
not only a great deal more effective, but infinitely more fulfilling and joyful.
***
Almost every ego contains at least an element of what we might call “victim
identity.” Some people have such a strong victim image of themselves that it
becomes the central core of their ego . Resentment and grievances form an essential
part of their sense of self.
Even if your grievances are completely “justified,” you have constructed an
identity for yourself that is much like a prison whose bars are made of thought
forms. See what you are doing to yourself, or rather what your mind is doing to
you. Feel the emotional attachment you have to your victim story and become
aware of the compulsion to think or talk about it. Be there as the witnessing
presence of your inner state. You don' t have to do anything. With the awareness
comes transformation and freedom.
***
Complaining and reactivity are favorite mind patterns through which the ego
strengthens itself. For many people, a large part of their mental-emotional activity
consists of complaining and reacting against this or that. By doing this, you make
others or a situation “wrong” and yourself “right.” Through being “right,” you feel
superior, and through feeling superior, you strengthen your sense of self. In reality,
of course , you are only strengthening the illusion of ego.
Can you observe those patterns within yourself and recognize the complaining
voice in your head for what it is?
***
The egoic sense of self needs conflict because its sense of a separate identity gets
strengthened in fighting against this or that, and in demonstrating that this is “me”
and that is not “me."
Not infrequently, tribes, nations, and religions derive a strengthened sense of
collective identity from having enemies. Who would the “believer” be without the
“unbeliever?"
***
In your dealings with people, can you detect subtle feelings of either superiority or
inferiority toward them? You are looking at the ego, which lives through
comparison.
Envy is a by-product of the ego, which feels diminished if something good happens
to someone else, or someone has more, knows more, or can do more than you. The
ego's identity depends on comparison and feeds on more. It will grasp at anything.
If all else fails, you can strengthen your fictitious sense of self through seeing
yourself as more unfairly treated by life or more ill than someone else. What are the
stories, the fictions from which you derive your sense of self?
***
Built into the very structure of the egoic self is a need to oppose, resist, and exclude
to maintain the sense of separateness on which its continued survival depends. So
there is “me” against the “other,” “us” against “them."
The ego needs to be in conflict with something or someone. That explains why you
are looking for peace and joy and love but cannot tolerate them for very long. You
say you want happiness but are addicted to your unhappiness.
Your unhappiness ultimately arises not from the circumstances of your life but
from the conditioning of your mind.
***
Do you carry feelings of guilt about something you did–or failed to do–in the past?
This much is certain: you acted according to your level of consciousness or rather
unconsciousness at that time. If you had been more aware, more conscious, you
would have acted differently.
Guilt is another attempt by the ego to create an identity, a sense of self. To the ego,
it doesn't matter whether that self is positive or negative. What you did or failed to
do was a manifestation of unconsciousness–human unconsciousness. The ego,
however, personalizes it and says, “I did that,” and so you carry a mental image of
yourself as “bad."
Throughout history humans have inflicted countless violent, cruel, and hurtful acts
on each other, and continue to do so. Are they all to be condemned; are they all
guilty? Or are those acts simply expressions of unconsciousness, an evolutionary
stage that we are now growing out of?
Jesus' words, “Forgive them for they know not what they do,” also apply to
yourself.
***
If you set egoic goals for the purpose of freeing yourself, enhancing yourself or
your sense of importance, even if you achieve them, they will not satisfy you.
Set goals, but know that the arriving is not all that important. When anything arises
out of presence, it means this moment is not a means to an end: the doing is
fulfilling in itself every moment. You are no longer reducing the Now to a means to
an end, which is the egoic consciousness.
***
"No self, no problem,” said the Buddhist master when asked to explain the deeper
meaning of Buddhism.
摘自：Stillness Speaks
翻譯：遊由
轉自：http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4fd2f38b0100te4x.html
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